Violetcraze

Keep Moving Forward

2012-02-17T18:52:00.001Z

"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting"

-E.E Cummings

Been bit of a downer lately, its like a fall, and now it's just picking yourself up and continuing where you left off. Now, the picking myself back up is a tini tiny bit harder this time. I can't figure out why. I must say I am not enjoying the feelings I am having, it's pretty shitty at times. But I am still getting by day by day. People tell me how grateful I should be, or how I should make the best of it since I am over here. I am still the same person I am no matter where I am. So yes, I may be happier now, and yes, I am entitled to feeling crappy once in a while. It's not like I have totally morphed into a whole new person.

Currently in my second semester...yay, not too long till I graduate and conquer the world! Face the "facts of life" and a whole new journey of adulthood. Yeah, and I still feel like a kid. Busy second semester, but can't totally immersed myself in my work because I don't work like that. Starting point is always the hardest because I think so much till I do not dare to begin.

On the bright side, the weather is getting warmer =) don't need to layer up and feel like a dumpling. Happy people are always around, there are good and happy things around. The day is not over, well the day is over and the night is still young, things can always turn around and be better. If it doesn't, tomorrow is another better day.

With that, I end this post with a picture of a platypus and fedoras photshopped onto them. (not by me) Don't they look cute? Like a bunch of detective platypus! Like in Phineas and Ferb. haha!

What's up doc? It's February!

2012-02-06T10:11:00.001Z

Hello there =)

It's been awhile, weather is as usual getting colder,

and recently, my Facebook news feed is mainly about standing eggs and how Portsmouth is the only place that is not snowing at the moment.

Snow Portsmouth, snow!!! *prays hard* hahahaha :)

Thank you Sheryiin for the pic =)
Click on the pic if you can't see it moving.

Went to London in January, :)

For touristy purposes (Finally!) but I couldn't enjoy 100% of it thanks to cold and cough.

Overall it's good. Was not much of a rush, saw Big Ben, Westminster Abbey, London Eye, Trafalgar Square, British Museum (which was quite nice, HUGE! but nice ), Chinatown (with cheap Japanese food for 3 hungry people!)

I especially loved going to Lomography London. Get to rest and hang out there with the crazy Lomo Wall!

Played with the remaining Instax film we brought. Viva La Instant Pics!

;)

Tested the instax before going to London, took some group pics with flatmates. I think we need more pictures together somehow. Probably when it gets warmer, *fingers crossed* right now it is just way too cold. Face gets numb, skin gets extra dry, and your hands just want to stay snug in your pocket all the time.

Got a workshop later, totally forgot about it. Thought it was on Wednesday but turns out to be today at noon! At least its not a class, just a workshop. Phew!

Saying, reading, feeling is easy. But actually doing it is scary. Lets just take it easy this month, just think "so what if you screw up? what is the worst thing that could happen? and in a few years time, say 5 years...would it matter?"

with love. x

2012-01-29T10:35:00.001Z

Used to be able to wake up really early. Then I started sleeping really late.

Now I'm trying to wake up early again, but have this horrible habit of snoozing for at least an hour. MINIMUM. My head will just "plop" back onto the pillow. I would turn off my alarm without any realisation. (need to device a new method of turning of the alarm :P)

Getting back to routine is a toughie.

x

2012-01-28T22:22:00.003Z

It's not always rainbows and butterflies

2012-01-28T22:17:00.000Z

Hello =)

Been awhile since I updated or rambled. Talk about lack of enthusiasm, I have update nothing about Spain and that was a month ago! I did not even bother about Chinese New Year, blogging didn't seem necessary and life just goes on.

Classes are starting on Tuesday, I know I'm suppose to feel excited, but I am not. I would describe it as blank, emotionless, unenthusiastic. This somehow worries me, and I'm starting to feel insecure about "going with the flow". How long can one go with the flow, following a direction that knows no end. When there is no "end", how can I "begin"? Big questions that I have no answer for =(

Not to mention, I'm "testing" myself by not doing my work, it's frustrating. Can't explain the feeling, I just somehow refuse to do it. And yes, I know I'm suppose to motivate myself to do it. For once, what if I failed? What if I actually not cared? Will I be a failure?

I just feel frustrated. Funny thing, I can't pin point where this frustration is coming from.

I need to work this off somehow. Exercise, sweat...something. This emotion is so unhealthy, I feel disgusted. I don't want to spiral down with this emotion. Asking questions like what is the point of all of this, feeling sick that we have to conform to society. Yet not conforming to society is also a way of conforming to society, seeing that this is whats going on now.

This coming month of February, my aim is to bring back the enthusiasm, at least some form of motivation. Passion or just the interest of doing something. No more of this lifelessness. Nothing is worst that feeling lifeless and disliking yourself for it.

One step at a time... and with a whole lot of positivism!

It will all come back and work out in the end.

cheers =)

2012-01-16T15:31:00.003Z

Halfway into January, the most common thing to say is how time flies.

The feeling of awe of the new year gradually disappears. We're starting to settle in, everything is back to normal, back to routine.

Just watched Finding Nemo last night, I wish I could be as cool as Crush the turtle and live to be a 150 years old.

Classes are starting, I'm not prepared yet. I'm in denial, wishing time could just stand still. Feeling so out of focus at the moment. What would it be like if January just happened to repeat itself? I just want to lay in bed the whole day, read and dream.

Anyway,

The flu bug finally caught up with me, had fever and flu. Fevers gone, just left with the flu. Hopefully I'll be well in a few days time!

2012-01-10T13:25:00.002Z

Random: I think I'm going to drown myself in novels. =)

Dance Like Nobody's Watching: Laundromat

2012-01-07T09:25:00.000Z

Hauntingly Beautiful

2012-01-07T08:52:00.001Z

Good morning! Finally got some proper sleep, dissertation's all done! =) I think it could have been better with the layout, images and text. But I should stop worrying, no way I'm getting it printed or re-bind it again. Cost a bomb. Hopefully it's okay!

"Aal Izz Well" -3 Idiots (movie)

Right, in the mood of bombarding my blog with stuff. I'm sharing the love...

Anyway!

Alison Scarpulla makes HAUNTINGLY beautiful photographs.

Read it off CoolGirlsShootFilm

I seriously wonder what is the process behind these images, how she develops her film and what is going through her mind! How does she do it?!

Here's the LINK to her portfolio!

I feel bad for under-using my cameras now. *guilty* But I will get back to it again. It is too expensive for me to get it develop here. Shall persevere, maybe it's time to go back to the Lomo's Rule " Don't Think, Just Shoot".

Crazy

2012-01-07T08:25:00.000Z

2012-01-03T22:13:00.000Z

Dissertation is due in about a week. I can't wait to get over it, but at the same time I hate to rush it.
Everybody is coming back! I don't have the whole flat to myself anymore, I can't blast the music at top volume but I'm still glad!
GOODNESS, It's really 2012! Everyone, enjoy your last year!

Before today, I've had the worst few days of the year. I was moody and very stressed out. I was either sleep deprived or sleep overdosed. Not to mention having weird dreams which you wake up remembering almost every detail.

I'm really wondering when will I every learn that if I am not busy enough, I'll get myself into situations like this. Moody, unhappy and just thinking too much, making me stressed out for no reason. Might as well just give me a death sentence. But at least there's progress! I did something to make myself feel better again just because I got so sick of myself feeling so helpless.

Solution?

Blast music at top volume
Stop doing whatever it is you were doing.
Start jumping,dancing, singing to the music. As loud or as silly as you wish.
Take a long shower, make sure music is still on so you can listen to it.

It's very therapeutic and more importantly it worked! Felt great after that =) Perfect remedy. Either that or just exercise.

Hmm, looks like it's going to be a longgggg night for me. I'm not feeling very fast and productive. haha I just hope I won't be seduced by my bed this time.

Back to work,

Good night and good morning =) x!

2012-01-01T21:19:00.004Z

I was just browsing my blog post for December 2010 and I came across THIS =)

Bad photoshop skills but I could say what I wanted to achieve for 2011 was achieved. *air punch!*

Look at how short my hair was!

Thank you 2011, hello 2012 :)

2012-01-01T04:21:00.001Z

These aviator sunglasses are just so awesome I'm just gonna indulge myself in some self vanity. So bear with me. I promise I won't overdose this blog with vain pictures. Just cool ones. haha

Post about Spain is in progress, just thought I share this first.

Anyway, wishing everyone a very Happy New Year! It's 2012! yay *throws confetti!* Another year older, another year wiser (hopefully) =). I know it's nearly 3 am here, somehow I am not feeling sleepy. ~~Why this never happens when I want to do my assignments??~~

Celebrated my New Year's Eve in a pub, nice and quiet. Just enjoying good company and ambiance.

It's that time of year to reflect back on the happenings of 2011 and make resolutions for 2012. I'll try to make it short and simple which we all know it's nearly impossible for me to do so. =)

It feels like as though it has been ages since I graduated from college, but it was only in March! Basically was done with my final year project, sort of gave it my all to get it done with so I could actually get out of that place. Words could not describe how glad I am to get over that "phase" in college. Those who know me know what I am talking about.

But I wouldn't trade that experience for anything in the world. I've said this so many times, though it was rough, it made me who I am today, so cheers to that.

After that it was bumming around and actually made the decision to further study. So started making preparations, bummed around and finally got a job for a couple of months. Went through another phase which was going through a job I hated. I had nightmares and I even came home crying! It taught me to trust my instincts ( did not like the boss and place when I went for an interview, but I was desperate for a job) and it helps when at times, you just carry a "I don't give a shit" attitude.

Finally quit my job, continue preparing for further studies to UK, meet up with old friends, went to a few outings and rejected a bunch of gatherings.

I think the highlight for me before coming to the UK was when I won a ticket to UK through a lucky draw from a dinner that was organized by GEN Education. Not forgetting, after all the years of teasing and pranks from my dad, I finally gave him the ultimate prank/surprise. =) Best moment ever!

The thing I hated was packing, how on Earth does one pack your life into 40 kg of weight limit? I pretty much left it till the last minute, panicked, worried and just accept. Leaving home was quite difficult too, I am happy to leave Malaysia but leaving family was quite hard.

picture not related. but just too cute to not put up :)

Finally, I landed myself in Portsmouth, United Kingdom. =) To be honest, I didn't tell much people about me coming here. I knew that I was going to further study but I basically left out that information until the very last minute. So, in a way I'm sorry for withholding this piece of information, but then again, why should I give a damn and announce it to the world?

Coming here, is definitely a whole new adventure. So far, I am in love with every moment I'm here, for the good, the bad and the crazy. I am blessed to have made the decision to come here, and it helped that I did not come here alone. Made new friends, lost some friends, learn about a different culture, understanding people behaviour. It's a whole lot to digest! Not to mention, learning to be independent and to take care of myself. All that and learning to cope with the assignments, stress, worries, homesickness etc. I didn't like the fact I got homesick and that I had to miss my brother's wedding. But I'm glad everything went well and everyone is happy =D!

I guess to summarize it all, everything that has happened even until now is an evolution. Change. I feel a huge change, I guess that is part of the parcel of growing. Who knows, a few months or years from now I might change and evolve again.

I guess that's about it :)

Here's to a great new beginning of 2012.

xxx

2011-12-28T08:51:00.004Z

Back from Spain! Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas! I spent mine in my room, watching shows, chatting and browsing the net!

I seem to have brought back the habit of falling asleep and sleeping for long hours.

goodness, time to reset and refocus! Updates about Spain soon :)

Much love!

Don't know, get to know =)

2011-12-16T21:58:00.001Z

Christmas is around the corner! :) Are you excited?

Most of the local students staying in the Halls have went back. So it's really quiet now. It feels like the first few days when I just arrived here. I'm already starting to miss the presence of my flatmates and friends. All of them went back today. But I have a trip coming up real soon! so, fingers crossed that everything works out well :)

I would say it's been a ~~good~~ epic week. Probably the funniest week so far, I have not laugh so much in so many days in a row, it feels like I should just quit laughing for a few days just so I could feel normal again.

Anyway,
who knew a joke could turn out to be the most random and spontaneous thing that happened? I had this diary that I brought it here and I'm nearly reaching to the end of it, so I told myself I would get myself a new journal as a Christmas present. A friend actually joked with me that he would get me a diary if I get him a souvenir from this upcoming trip! So I agreed...and ta daaaa!

I'm going to sound so dorky but look who is the new owner of a brand new awesome diary! Thank youuuu!

Having another "me" time and going to start packing! I'm starting to feel excited for this even though my day started pretty bad. I just lost all my contacts on my phone and the settings had to be reconfigured. All thanks to the security protection, and I swear I entered the correct password. But time to move on, I'll slowly collect all my contacts again, and I just want my phone data plan to work...especially WhatsApp. I'm addicted to it for now.

Well, in case I am not able to blog before Christmas, I just want to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas!

with love

Hello :)

2011-12-09T00:22:00.001Z

Taken in Bath, United Kingdom

Back from London! I'm so glad to be back in my room feeling all snuggly! Compared to the last London trip, this was so much more enjoyable. We went to London for a practice visit and at the same time to stock up! Oh, and not forgetting I finally get to eat some Malaysian Food at the Malaysian Hall. Well more like Malay food but I'm a very satisfied and happy person now. Yumms!

Random update, my bleaching kit for my hair arrived! Soon to add more highlights to my hair. But not so soon, I'm going to have a busy weekend! Wish me luck~

Right, I'm going to enjoy some "me" time now and hopefully some interesting updates soon!

Much love :)

Hello December, make it a good one :)

2011-12-05T17:58:00.000Z

Goodbye November, you have given me a very interesting month :)

Right! I'm 5 days late with this post. December started off pretty good actually and November ended quite well!

It ended with a random flat party (because our flat is too quiet ) and for the first time, I drank until I feel like puking, which honestly, I have to say that it isn't much. I almost chundered ( a new term I learnt!) Which means vomit/puke. Was I drunk? I think I was, but it wasn't so bad. *Sorry papa! I know you told me not to drink until I'm drunk but I'm okay! No worries =)

Almost everybody :)

Basically November kind of settled me down a little bit. I've gotten a bit more random and silly, and at times I get a little bit homesick. It could get kind of lonely too, but it is not much of a big deal because it happens when I'm in Malaysia too.

Apart from that, for the past year or so, I have this temptation and contemplation to have my hair highlighted in some funky colour. Well, good news it, I finally got the guts and the opportunity to do it whilst I'm still young...? haha I don't want to regret not having ever tried something like this.

Got re-inspired and made the decision to finally have my hair highlighted thanks to Sheryiin for sharing His Selfish Machine . Got really hyped up and now it's done! I have a couple more highlights to do but I'm waiting for the bleach to arrive. I ran out of them =(

Thanks Sheryiin for taking the pictures. I haven't have a proper shot of my hair yet but I'm feeling so excited that I'm just gonna share this one.

My favourite part of the highlight! it's the back. It's much greener now.

Oh my goodness, I forgot to mention that I have my hair done in Turquoise! For some reason, we manage to "persuade" a couple of other people to do it. It was really funny, and random. In the end, 4 people including me got our hair dyed. =P

Max, Jason and Alex :)

Got to say thanks to Sheryiin and Esther for helping me with my hair and being supportive of my decision. =) haha!

That is pretty much it for now. Going to watch Christmas Carol over at Guildhall later, basically I'm pretty addicted to watching movies, sleeping and waking up late! December, it is going to be a great one!

With love,

2011-11-27T10:38:00.001Z

No more Red bull!

2011-11-23T23:20:00.001Z

Hello :)

It's nearly 12am, I'm taking my time with this. As much as I feel like sleeping since 10pm, ( I was already tired since 5!) thanks to the weather change. Resorted to drinking Red Bull. It was a big mistake, made my heart rate beat faster, and overly excited. I can't even focus. No more Red Bull for the time being or ever. Now I'm calming down with loads of water and tea.

I'm addicted to blogging now.

A sneaky update for whoever is reading... I'm going to do something crazy next week (hopefully!) Been wanting to do that since last year. Fingers crossed that I find the right stuff.

Presentation next week, wish me luck! ;)

Much love

All in due time

2011-11-22T22:37:00.000Z

I'm aiming to get these two babies! The question is, which one first? Don't you just wish you have the excess money to just buy and not think???

An Instax or an Instant Back for my LC-A+! As long as I have instant picture for instant recording purposes and to my defense, it's not the same as a digital camera. =)

and a DSLR. I finally gave in, I want one of this now. As much as I love my faithful compact digital camera, I feel it is time to upgrade and progress into something more.

All in due time. X

Thoughts

2011-11-21T14:28:00.001Z

Epic picture. Definitely a Laugh out Loud kind of picture. I love and hate my expression.

I thought it will be easy, but it's not. It never is, and it never will. If it is easy, I doubt it means anything. I'm a person who thinks and I think a lot; too much in fact. Sometimes (most times) I have no control over it and it could overwhelm me. So last night, I think I went over board until I literally have to tell myself STOP. Chose different key words and repeat them in my mind and out loud until it took effect.

I hope everyone is doing fine. Picture of my WHOLE family. The only one I have that has everyone in it.

The thing that bothered me the most is whether there is regret. I don't have, but I wished things would be better. But I can't change the past, I have to ACCEPT. Accepting and letting go are probably the hardest things to do. Saying is one thing, doing it is another. Well I don't know if it applies to other people, but this applies to me and I'm pretty sure everybody else goes through this, only difference is at what level. Some have the power, yes I really mean power to go ahead, move on and not be bothered by it. Why don't I have such powers? It would do me some good to have a capability to do that. All I know, it takes a long time and a lot of 'thought control' for me to move on.

Watched a movie called Like Crazy about a week ago. I admit, it's not a good movie, but I can't help but liking it. It is because, how it made me feel. Made me wonder if such things are possible. Plus it does not help that I'm a sucker for love movies. =) Love movies for me are like fairy tales for kids. You wish they are real and somehow believe they are real and it would happen in real life. They should really take away love movies from me, feeds my soul but hurts my reality. Probably why I'm still single until now =P not that I'm complaining, don't get me wrong.

Good advice. Honesty and openness

I'm back to writing my blog about how my day/week went and what I feel and thought. Seems to suit my mood for now, so I'm just going to go along with it. I'm not really good with expressing face to face, and I don't have the habit of doing that. I get nervous and words does not come out right. What I say, and what I meant to say does not seem to tally. I cannot get the message across. Maybe it is the expression on peoples faces, or in my case, the fact that I have no idea what the response from the other person would be. Or I would imagine some sort of response and it's worse when I it's not what I thought it would be.

I'm rambling away again, it gives me some sort of sick relief. It calms me down. Something to concentrate on yet being able to express it out. Meh..Sometimes I really think I am odd, seriously. But I'm slowly starting to reconfigure that thought into saying that makes me who I am and I'm loving it. I'm just going at my own pace.

A very misty morning

So yeah, two months of taking it easy and now I'm starting to get worked up. With what is going through my mind, what's going on with my dissertation, current on going project and the upcoming final year project, tell me how am I going to survive? By handling it one thing at a time :) Fingers crossed that it works! Come what may, and settle it the best way I can at the given moment.

xoxo

2011-11-17T20:26:00.001Z

Hey :)

I'm sneaking in a blog post before I focus on my work again. I promise I'll concentrate on it after this blog post! Tried psyching myself into blogging after I'm done with my work as a treat, but failed, either my discipline is weak, or bribery doesn't really work on me.

Earlier today I removed a post, it wasn't a happy post and I thought by writing it out could sort of clear my mind, but after posting it, it just didn't feel right. It didn't seem necessary to put it out here and so I removed it and I feel loads better.

My college diploma graduation was a week ago and I was not there to attend. How did it feel? I admit, there was a twinge of sadness that I'm not able to wear the gown and throw mortarboard (graduation cap, I swear that is what it is called! google it!) but I didn't feel as much sadness as I expected myself to feel. Perhaps knowing that there is another one, and the fact that it brought much more meaning and effect to my life experiences consoled me.

Graduations, feels so soon and yet there is a long way to go. Part of me wish I could prolong the duration for so many reasons. There is a fear of what lies ahead, being a student has that security net around you no matter where you are. Graduating feels like you're set free to venture the world, I'm guessing it's only natural to feel excited and yet have fears of it.

But there isn't really any point in thinking or predicting how my life would turn out... Some things are best left to work its own magic ;) I just hope its for the best and hopefully my wish will come true *fingers crossed!*

P.S

I just came back (from the kitchen) after an epic conversation with junk food and a can of beer. So, back to work!

Good night!

2011-11-08T08:23:00.000Z

I owe my blog a post on Bath and South Hampton. Oh no =(

After having two weeks of break, coming back to reality feels like a shame. A waste of the holidays!

But it was a good 2 week break I suppose. :) Today, back to class! I wonder whats our next assignment will be about and we have to go up to London. These two weeks was sort of messy in some way, had a phase where I was feeling messed up for a couple of days. Now I'm feeling somewhat normal again =)

This week is going to be hardcore and its going to be good. haha

You have to be lost in order to be found

2011-11-04T04:37:00.001Z

I guess at one point one of these things are bound to happen.

It's 4am now, I woke up at around 3.30am. With no particular reason, only with some slight troubling thoughts. I went off to bed quite early as well.

I have always wondered, after reading The Secret, they say you can have anything you want. Ask and you shall receive. There is no such thing as too much of a good thing? What they fail to mention from the beginning except for some of the examples is that, there is always a balance. Ying and Yang. I've always believe the concept of everything comes in pairs. There's good and bad, light and dark, happy and sad etc. So when, The Secret proposed something that defies this concept, I went into confusion.

I suppose The Secret does not defy such concept. It's all in our thoughts, the emotion we convey. Not by force but from our hearts. Do we really feel happy? Can we feel it? So if something bad happens, its up to us to decide, in our minds and heart. We just have to believe and let the universe's power do its thing. The question that comes after that it time. How long? When?

I was quite upset yesterday, over a few reasons. I feel unbalanced... Everything was fine and then someone tipped the scale. So now I'm working my way to find the balance again. I guess I was getting used to the feeling of being balance that I'm taking it for granted...? Basically now, I just have to work on it again, probably with another method.

Isn't that what life is about? Everyday is a battle of thoughts and the decision you make to make life as how you want it to be. It's a job honestly. How to Live Your Life, is pure effort. Okay, not really a job but a lifelong effort. So never give up. :)

I made a decision to not let myself be bothered by it, but this morning, I manage to feel it. So fingers crossed that it works! It's all very experimental to me, so we shall see how it goes.

I had to be the bad guy yesterday, bad mood, upset, emotional is all a very bad combination. Do something to annoy me and oh well, all the best to you? haha. But what I said was true, if you can't do what you say, when you say it then might as well save it.

Hopefully there is some improvement, if there is isn't then I'm not really going to be bothered by it.

Having said all that, more than ever I'm glad for all that happens. It makes me feel more comfortable in my own skin and that is the feeling that I have lost and now seems to be coming back.

Now I'm wondering if I should go back to sleep.

Have a good day ahead :)

Halloween 2011

2011-11-03T17:12:00.001Z

It's been roughly a week since I wrote?

As usual, I'm suppose to be focusing on my work, but circumstances happened that caused me to have the urge to blog. Amazing. Why I can't I do this for my assignments? I wish I can write as freely as I do in blogs for my dissertation!

So lets see, I managed to went to Bath and after that it was Halloween. But I feel like talking about Halloween more because it's my first time experiencing Halloween like this. =) oh and also because of my parents request to see pictures. haha!

Photo credits goes to Neo Sheryiin! We were actually shopping that day, bought some clothes and we had the urge to do a photo shoot Halloween themed!

I've never done something like this before but it was definitely a good experience. Usually, how they celebrate here is in the clubs so I splurged and bought a ticket for experience and having fun sake.

I can't tell you whats my character but its just funny. I'm a bit skeptical to share the pictures here but what the heck! I might as well share it now before I regret and take it down.

Brief introduction, on the left is my flatmate and on the right is Sheryiin's flatmate. Successfully manage to scare us that night. haha :)

I guess I would call it an eye opening experience. I've seen it all in movies and all but I've never seen it real life. I felt so weird with the face make up etc, but once we were out there I suddenly felt that we were very very conservative. But it's okay, I'm comfortable that way :)

Leo.Esther.Myself.WooiTheng

So yes, basically that is about it. Nothing major, just drink and have fun in a club. Just glad I didn't get drunk and everything is okay.

cheers :)

South Sea and Oxford

2011-10-20T17:28:00.000+01:00

South Sea

I never realised how attractive or appealing the warmth of the Sun could be. It was a spontaneous outing, just 3 girls exploring the area around. A hot sunny day in Autumn, it was around 22 degrees Celsius. Everyone was out and about enjoying, soaking themselves in the sun.

Went to the beach at Southsea, walked from our halls (it's not far, thank goodness :) ) Got to the beach and took off our shoes. Stony beach, but the warmth released by the stone is very very comforting indeed, not very comfortable to sit on though.

So interesting to see that people automatically respond to heat, everyone was out and about. Gathering, drinking, chilling, spending some quality time with family...all thanks to the Sun. Conclusion? Warmth brings people together =)

Anyway, that was the only time we had such a weather. Unforgettable, I had a slight tan from that day itself. View was amazing, the smell of the sea was delicious but not overwhelming. Makes me kind of miss the warmth of the Sun now. Ever since that day, the weather has been getting colder and colder.

Oxford

Went for a day trip to Oxford organised by the University. Was kind of stressed out because it turned out the outing was right smack before our project review and I wasn't even done with it! What can I do? Had to put aside those worrisome thoughts and just go with it. In the end it wasn't too bad =)

4 bus filled with International and EU students went to Oxford. I've heard that the place was really nice, and good shopping. Not sure how right they are, maybe I went to the wrong places. haha

The place we went was really small, I thought the town would be bigger. But it was definitely quite happening, student performances on the street. Music performers, Oxford students with their uniforms which I have to say looks very very awesome indeed!

I love their stationary shops the most! Beautiful, quality and quirky cards, notebooks/sketchbooks ( Especially notebooks) etc. It was honestly a torture, knowing you can see them but you can't have them.

I guess this is classified as vandalism? I took it because, it's something not very historical and picturesque. I wished my LC-A+ is functioning. I lost the randomness and the urge to take photos without my LC-A+ around.

Went around, and went into one of the oldest church in Oxford, St. Micheal's ( I hope my facts are right!) Went in, paid the entrance fee and went around and up to look at the view. Again, not as spectacular as I hoped it would be. It sounds kind of sad to hear my say like this, but don't get me wrong, it was still beautiful and I still enjoyed it very much.

The streets was filled with people, I can't tell whether are they locally there or there was a lot of people visiting Oxford that day.

This is the view from the top. We could see almost the whole town =) I still like Portsmouth better though. =P we all loved the shadows of the people on the street.

It was such a long and tiring day, but luckily things went on well after that. Project is done, taking a short break and working on other assignments before another project begins.

Cheers :)

So far so good

2011-10-06T22:58:00.003+01:00

*must sit down quietly and blog!*

I'm seriously ignoring my duty to blog, wait..my duty? This is just for fun isn't it? I'm not sure if anyone still reads this actually. Blogging seems to be out of date but heck, it's still fun to ramble away as though someone is actually listening to you. ;)

random self shot. syiok sendiri haha!

It's already been 3 weeks! Honestly, until now, it never fails to surprise me how time flies. I'm actually surprise how comfortable I feel. I thought I would feel more homesick. It's a real fortunate thing to have come across people from Malaysia that seems to get along with each other and I have nice flatmates. So I guess basically, that's probably the reason why I don't feel much homesickness. Though yes, I have urges to have random chats with my family but it's difficult to do so thanks to the time difference.

At first I'm a little put off, because the people here aren't what I thought they would be. But I've slowly come to terms that it really doesn't matter. These kind of processes takes a long time and I have to contribute my part before I can receive their contribution on their part. So I'm slowly coming to accept that, and always remember what is the reason why I am here. To learn and grow...oh and yes, to get my "oh so amazing degree".

It's been nearly a month, I wish time would not fly so fast. There is still so much more to do! Sometimes the excitement dies out and daily life routines starts to get monotonous, and then we just got to find something to spark the enthusiasm in us again.

heart <3

Do you know what is going through my mind now?

Right now, I feel like going out, and yet I should be reading and researching as well as focusing on my project. Oh yes, I'm tempted to dye my hair. -_- thanks to the influence of a friend. Au natural no more? I shall give it some thought.

Before I forget, I had pizza for lunch today. Yeah, doesn't sound like anything special but it's the most money I spent on my meal minus the one I spent celebrating a friends birthday. So it's quite a big deal! I'm thinking what the heck, I have been saving for nearly a month, I should just go for it once in awhile I suppose. =D Had a buffet in pizza hut with two of my flatmates. Honestly, their pizza here taste way better than the ones back home. I'm not anti Pizza Hut anymore (only applicable in the UK)

Alright, that is about it I suppose. I'm not going to discuss about my project, or dissertation. Not yet or at least I hope I won't because I just find it plain weird to talk about it here.

Okay, now I'm gonna try to figure out what to do. I have to read but as I said, I feel like going out. Such conflicting thoughts!

Bye!

It's all too new

2011-09-27T06:29:00.000+01:00

By coming here, and meeting people from the same homeland, has opened my eyes to something new. Perhaps more subconsciously rather than consciously. But it feels so different, the sudden freedom is so tempting towards the brink of uncontrollable. If I were to be here perhaps one or two years ago, I probably would not be able to handle it. Now, I have a responsibility and a target so it's just trying to balance it all. Learning to think for yourself, think for others. It doesn't feel so bad because it gives me the feeling of something like I'm in control of what I'm doing.

Honestly?

Easier said than done. Everything is an trial an error. It feels like we have no choice but to do it but that was the choice we opted for from the beginning.

Friday

2011-09-17T00:32:00.002+01:00

It's nearly a week away from home. The furthest I've been away from home so far. Brings back memories when my dad told me if I hold my chopstick as far end as possible meant the further I will be away from home. Funny enough, I tried to hold my chopstick the furthest I could handle because I wanted to be far away from home. Had I known that I would want to be abroad?

Many question comes to mind about staying abroad. I chose to go for one year, I think I wouldn't mind going for 2 years. There is no right or wrong, in the end a decision has to be made.

Thanks to technology and creation of social media, people view living or studying abroad as something of a glam,trend, fun, holiday. Not denying that any of these are not true. But there is so much more behind those pictures. What does it really feel like to live in a foreign country where you don't know your way around, the choices you make and the people you meet affects most things.

If we don't put ourselves out there, remove the box that created the boundary around ourselves, how can we grow? If we are not lost, how would we find our way? I hope in this coming few months, I am able to handle this situation. To meet new people, to gain new experience, to grow into something better that what I was.

Living in a foreign country isn't always easy, being Asian generally the Westerners would think that we hail all the way from China. They probably think we can't understand much English. To be looked down as the lower class race. It's quite frustrating to be in these kind of situations. Nothing serious has happened but just a train of thought. Sometimes I see some of them, the way they talk to us, all I want to do is ask them to shove it and tell them I'm from Malaysia and I can bloody understand them. =X

I heard bullying might happen next week. Especially from local students to foreign students. I hope everything will be okay and I want to meet new people. To break that boundary and grow from there! It's very important to do so!

Till next time, :)

Hello September

2011-09-15T06:48:00.003+01:00

It is getting colder day by day. I need to find another source of warmth soon! What I have is definitely not enough. I did not bring much, but after last night, I'm confirmed I didn't pack well enough. I need more practice! which means...I should travel more!

It's good to practice an open mind, I still have to remind myself that. Not knowing a lot of things is fine, as long as we are willing to learn and try. So I guess I could say these few days so far is really interesting! I'm hoping it will get better and better everyday. Push the insecurities behind and go forth!

One thing I think I'm going to have to try is eating ice-cream in the cold weather.

haha!

Till next time when I have collected more things to share :)

2011-09-08T20:22:00.000+01:00

Clocks are ticking,
Heart is racing,
I'm wondering; why haven't I done it sooner...

We're carrying so much things in our lives, so how do you pack away the necessities from the non-necessities?

Then you start thinking...do we really need what we have? Honest to god I better stop dwelling cuz it's way too messed up.

=)

Time to get going!
toodles

Counting down, but before that...

2011-09-07T18:46:00.001+01:00

I want to watch SMURFS! Cute blue tiny creatures in the land of Humans.

I just got back from Penang yesterday. Epic trip. I was advised to GO ALL OUT by my bro. I was suppose to savour all yummy food and leave all my guilty conscience and vanity back in KL!

Instead you know what happened?

I fell ill like right smack in my face. *face palm*

Only managed to eat Indian Food on the first night. Then my body immune system just decided to throw the white flag and surrender. Next day it was off to the doctors which I had to wait for like 2 hours, but forgiven because the doctor was good and dedicated. My whole body ached, throat was swollen and all I can think of is going back to bed.

So mum and god-mum went off on a delightful shopping trip while I slept. Thought when I woke up, I was able to have some me time and catch up on reading and writing. But by the time I woke up, they just came back. Oh well, but I got lovely gifts from this trip!

So today, I went out and watched Cars 2! Would be nice to watch in 3D I think. The animation is really good, but the story is a bit long and draggy. Nearly fell asleep =P Had a lovely time but I think I haven't fully recovered. So by the time I got home, I was so tired!

okay, time to catch some shut eye.

Good night!

Sepang Gold Coast :)

2011-08-31T16:02:00.001+01:00

11 Days to go! Gotta get started, a whole new journey awaits :)

Being neither a student nor an employee feels like being neither here nor there. Feels a little confusing, a little uncomfortable. There is some sense of security to be able to fall in a category of some sort. Human nature?

Anyway, while I was being unemployed, I went for a one day trip with a couple of friends to Sepang Gold Coast. We didn't do much beachy stuff while we were there (pun intended)

It was such a hot day, the tan lines on my neck is still there! (The trip was like 1 month ago) 7 people went, 6 pairs and a single which was me. Kinda odd. But I was okay with it, I get to shoot some pics which makes me happy enough for that day.

cool helicopter shot. surprise shot

These are using slide film, Rollei Digibase. It was my last roll, hopefully I am able to find this film again one day! It isn't overly saturated, the colour bleeds a little which is lovely and the grain on the film adds a very nice character to it.

After Sepang Beach, we went to Tanjung Sepat Famous Pau but in the end we did not try the pau. The queue was too long but bought very good coffee instead!

After that it was off to "yummy" seafood and lovers bridge which by the way wasn't so yummy and wasn't so lovely.

the address is here if interested :)

Tanjung Sepat Pau

from lovers bridge

#1 at lovers bridge

#2 at lovers bridge

#3 at lovers bridge

interesting day. I like the fact the beach was a lot cleaner than expected :)

more updates soon! Happy Independance Day and Happy Raya!

hmmm

2011-08-16T16:49:00.002+01:00

Hospitals are always cold...

It always gives some sort of grey feeling. Probably with an exception of birth because that is something joyful isn't it. Warmth and comfort over here comes from the people that work here, their smiles, their patience, their care and thoughtfulness. Such simple and little details but meant a great deal.

I'm wondering if I am going to get much sleep tonight. My second night here and I have slept so much! Don't get the wrong idea, this time I'm accompanying someone. Thank goodness for wi-fi,laptop,movies and books.

Lets hope for a speedy recovery!

Shake shake shake it off

2011-08-11T18:19:00.002+01:00

Helloooo~

Today started off pretty shaky. It's not bad but it wasn't good or great. I just wasn't in the mood. These past few days has been like that. But a few good things happened along today and made things better. :)

I was suppose to meet someone today regarding some freelance job. I went to the place, gave a call, waited awhile and then I received a call. So I got out of the car and I couldn't find that person so I called back. Turns out, we were both at different places! I felt that it was kinda funny and I should just go with the flow..;)

But as time went by, my mood started to dwindle again...it gets frustrating, I don't know how to deal with it. It's like something I'm not fulfilling and it's always not taking a step or I don't realise it at all. I'm still learning to make a choice between feeling happier and being sad. It's a work in progress.

Read a book, watch a couple of movies and it was getting better...went up to my room and chatted with a friend and felt heaps better.

Cheers!

A decade later

2011-08-11T16:56:00.000+01:00

And we're still the same...(quote from Mei Yan's album)

I guess it's a little bit exaggerated but at the same time it's pretty much true... haha we are who we are 10 years ago!

not much pictures but had a good time. Nice and very comforting to see almost everyone...

Couldn't stop laughing and smiling the whole night :)

Not forgetting the part when someone stole my parking spot and it turns out to be Lynnett!

The guys...who totally ruined some perfectly ordinary daily words into things I shall not mention here.

I really should learn to keep in touch more often. *guilty!*

=) good memories make me smile

Diploma show

2011-08-10T05:11:00.002+01:00

The past is now a memory.

What was done is an experience.

Learn not to dwell in the yesterdays,

live today

better tomorrows are on its way.

2011-08-04T16:18:00.001+01:00

One night of insomnia and the rest of my day went haywire. It's a whole chain reaction, now I have to sleep late because of what I've missed out on doing what I was meaning to do earlier today. After this thing is done, I'm DONE for the time being! Say about the next 100 years?

I will somehow or rather, force myself to get out. I'm sick of facing the monitor screen...why is it taking me so long? Sometimes I dislike the whole process of it, the before, during and after...because when you're done, you are really never done.

Look at me rambling away. I have this tendency to not share or tell the exact details of whats going on. Its the whole internet thing.

In loving memory of Munchie.
I'm sorry you couldn't get well enough to continue your life.
But at least you don't have to go through the pain anymore.
R.I.P

2011-08-03T19:55:00.001+01:00

Attack of the insomnia...

Suddenly everything feels so foreign...

I can't sleep.

Good morning

Daniel Castan

2011-07-23T07:04:00.004+01:00

Daniel Castan! I can't find out more details about him from Wiki but he does have his own website.

He is a French artist, born in 1959 in Dordogne, he started drawing from young. Graduated from Fine Arts in Bordeaux, he worked as a graphic designer, created his company and performs work for Unicef, Pierre Balmain, the UN, ZIPPO. At the age of 40, he took the brush for fun and started painting.

Found his painting on Tumblr and I really like his style!

This was the one that I found and felt attracted to it.

These are some of his work from his New York series. Go check it out here >> Daniel Castan, it's in French so you might have to Google Translate like what I did. =D

Enjoy!

2011-07-21T17:55:00.001+01:00

Staying in on a Friday night. No surprise there, finish reading the last Harry Potter book! Whats left to do is to re-watch Pt 1 of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and I'm geared up for Pt 2!

I've successfully made myself sound like dork...not that it takes much effort =P but come on, Harry Potter is awesome!

Anyway, I've decided that one day, I must visit Austria!

Couple of things that caught my eye :)

Cheese Pencils! Fun new way of grating cheese..hehe

Room of shattered glass

exit sign :)

imma tech flop...

2011-07-19T18:14:00.001+01:00

have I ever mentioned that I'm not very tech savvy?

how ironic that the line I'm in requires me to use computer a lot...

bummer.

my external hard disk decided to give me one heck of a stressful day after one whole week of blissful couch potato-ness of my life which really means me catching up with Harry Potter books...Though I'm not done with it yet. Duty calls...

I can't access my files! important files....T_T or rather all my files...

if only it was as simple as going to the doctors...

now I'm punished...and it's gonna hurt real bad...

Lesson learnt!

be delicate/careful with it and don't take it for granted (meaning, don't leave it connected to your busy, be more hardworking and disconnect it when not in use)
Back up what ever you backed up...(in my case, I'm gonna get and external hard disk for my external hard disk)

well, I don't know if being delicate with it would help..its just an assumption, but wouldn't hurt to be extra careful.

Wish me luck and pray hard that I will be able to retrieve my files with minimum damage to the wallet (or purse in my case)

Who needs colours? =)

2011-07-16T15:30:00.001+01:00

I just spent my day reading the first 2 books of Harry Potter, napping and watching a movie. Rather productive and unproductive at the same time if you asked me. I can't believe how much I forgot about Harry Potter! and I used to be such a fan...! I was suppose to be working but I figured it's not point feeling guilty if I wasn't gonna do anything about it...

Ever since I've seen Vivian Maier 's work, I was and am totally hooked on black and white pictures!

I personally feel that it brings the photo to a whole new level. Don't cha think so? So, finally I tried it out and the results are quite surprising. These are some nices ones that are worthy of sharing. I'm still a little afraid of using b&w films and always not know when to use them!

I don't have like a series of photographs, it's pretty much jumble up so I find it hard to classify them.

Emily,getting her hair cut =)

this was taken at UCSI's Unifest. It looks like a rockin' good time but it wasn't =(

It was raining, I was sick, it wasn't fun. Imagine trying to jump to the music while you're wearing those a plastic poncho,holding an umbrella,coughing and sniffling and raindrops falling on your head. it ain't a good sight!

The day we got conned to attend a talk about our career in a Plus building in the middle of somewhere. -_-

only the end bit was fun and somewhat inspiring...I think this was a few weeks after we graduated. We went to watch a movie at Pavilion after that, one of my favourite photos.

This turned out better than I expected! haha a day out at Pipit at Central Market.

While finding my way to Central Market.

I like this picture but to tell you the truth, I absolutely dislike the structure that they built. We all can see that it is a Wau and it's suppose to represent our unique culture etc. But it's just too literal for my liking.

;)

more soon! =) have a good Sunday.

Unemployed but not out of work...make sense? =)

2011-07-16T14:23:00.002+01:00

Okay, blogger as changed their layout and its a whole new look. I'm kinda liking it although it looks and feels so foreign.

Anyway...

HELLO ;)

it's been a long while! I can't even focus on one thing, like blogging or working... Been meaning to blog but it seems either I'm not out there and updated enough or I'm lacking of thoughts,opinions that would trigger an urge great enough to put those thoughts into words.

I've just recently resigned from my job, I quit earlier than expected but it's such a relief! Not that I hate working, it actually made me felt better in so many ways but this particular place was definitely not my cup of tea,juice or water!

What is the point of forcing yourself to work in an environment that makes you feel so demoralised and in capable in so many ways. I had a choice either to suck it up and suffer(in a bad way) or just get out of there. But luckily with the support of my family and some friends, I chose to get out of there.

No point dwelling on how terrible it was, but the truth must be shared. Nuff' said!

I've just one week of bumming around, it's always so easy to get into the lazy mode. I say it's time to reel myself in and focus on what I have to do and what I really really want to do. It's not gonna be easy and I really really hope I can make it work and at least cross out a few of my list!

see and feel

2011-07-03T17:24:00.000+01:00

i like this painting...

Work thoughts

2011-06-30T13:11:00.000+01:00

Work work work...

it seems that we were always being complained for wasting his oh so precious time, but I can't figure out if he knows that he is wasting our time and in turn waste more of his time. Bloody chain reaction of doom...

Isn't work suppose to be fun? Isn't it suppose to be more hands on, challenging that it entices your mind and open your eyes to a whole new world. I must have gotten the meaning of work from a faulty dictionary. Work isn't fun... Found that out during internship a year ago, but at least it was fun in some ways...learning from other people not just about work but their character/views/decisions made on so many matters. It's the environment and the people. Oh, and the boss too...

I thought it would be a bad idea to blog about my work experience upon graduating from college. But what the heck, I'm just sharing my opinion. Like I said before, I've only been working for 2 months and I'm already sick and tired of how things are handled, how the staffs is being treated. I don't know how a corporate office is like, I'm thinking that this is the creative design line....who made him the dictator?

oh wait...he did, well cuz, he is the boss..

he who claims to be a professional is isn't the least bit professional. I quote," he never was, he never is, he never will!"

2011-06-30T13:06:00.000+01:00

it's now or neverrrrrr...

Goodbye June

2011-06-26T17:38:00.000+01:00

Hellooooooo!

I'm back for now =) I've been so lazy to blog and rather use the remaining spare time to eat,sleep,tv, emo, and mostly just sleep.

Couple of updates!

second month of working is coming to an end...It's only been 2 months and I've loads of stories to tell but I won't rant here, not worth this blog space!
Decision has been made! it's such a relief and I won't give it so much thought for now.
I burnt a big hole in my pocket this month...but it feels G.R.E.A.T =P

mehh...normal everyday stuff. Just that this week, I actually came home crying after work. Just couldn't take the mental stress that was shoved to us. I don't know how the others can take it but I just couldn't. Really not worth the pain!

I feel artistically deprived somehow... FEED ME WITH SOMETHING CREATIVE! Really hope to be able to start taking some pics with film, I feel rusty. I need a direction!

I haven't developed my latest roll, and I haven't found anywhere near my house or where I work to develop my film.

But I had a good weekend =D better than what I'd hope for. So to spark up my blogging mood on, gonna share some pics that caught my eye as I write about other ramblings.

Went out today to Bangsar Shopping Complex (BSC) A very upmarket place, my first time going there, but it's really a nice place to have a visit or two.

I have no pictures of the place so, I'm just going to make do with the ones from the net. Went to try out Tea Republic, nice,quaint, comfortable place. But it's the company that you have that determines whether you have a good time or not. =D

YUM CHA. chat over a cuppa tea.

Well, that's about it for now. =) But before leaving, how cool it is to have this!!! :

A swimming pool in your living room! Check Manhattan Townhouse out for more pictures. Imagine accidentally shoving your guest into the pool. haha whether or not they offended you..

have a good week ahead ;)

=/

2011-06-17T14:39:00.001+01:00

I wish I could feel like this right now. what a lovely picnic.

sigh, I've done it this time.messed up.screwed.

i don't even know what to do or how to make amends.

i'll try, but i'm not sure if it will last

all i know is yes, i don't deserve any of these.

i wish some other more deserving person was in my place.

don't you wish i didn't exist?

i remember it was said to me once.

i'm sorry for taking things for granted.

perhaps once i'm gone...

things will get better.

2011-06-05T16:20:00.000+01:00

Listening to Light and Easy in the car at night just a while ago, felt like a few moments of bliss. No, I'm not turning old fashion or turning old at all. It's been a tiring week, sleeping schedule is way off track and my mind,body and soul are not in sync.

Today is the day that things did not go so right. I'm partially in fault for showing my ever so famous agitated moods. All I felt was snapping back at people. Harsh weather, noisy shopping mall, screaming kids, ignorant oh so ignorant people and terrible service(as in so unprofessional and why in hell are you not doing YOUR job) really gets on my nerves. Inside my mind I was creating a scene of epic proportions...snap back to reality, all I did was suck it all in and grumble.

Reflecting back and forth, my mind is filled with thoughts and wonders. I don't feel like partying, or trying to get updated with whatever is going on. I just feel like staying in or be somewhere that I can just feel at peace.

Finally a month has passed...all I can say is, I'm longing for the day that I will be free. I feel sad that weekends are that short and the weeks are so long! Being in the working world is so different. Gone are the days of blissful ignorance of students. Now come the days of overcoming life's hurdles. Now it all comes down to me and what do I do about it.

Hopefully these coming months, things would get better and that I would get to figure out a lot more of other stuff.

We must learn to never let the frustration get to us.

2011-05-16T19:06:00.000+01:00

*sniffles*

I've got the flu, I've got the phlegm, I've got the cough, but I don't got the voice~

rawrrrr sick! have to rest but I am having trouble sleeping. =( hmm actually slept and just woke up...but yeah. Can't sleep...difficult sleep.

flu bug...pls go away!

Today I don't feel like doing anything

2011-05-15T10:55:00.000+01:00

Hello,

Oh dear, I wonder if anybody still reads this blog after so long!

I've only been working for 2 weeks but it seems like forever. Weekends are like mini treasures after a week of work. Being able to go online when I come back home doesn't seem to be so important but it also feels like a privilege.

Second week of work was tougher. It's more of getting used to the routine, reality hits you that work isn't like school anymore. Learning is one thing but to be able to apply it is another thing. It's not like learning how to add and subtract and the boss will give you a questions to solve. It's more like applying what are you going to use in that situations. They probably give you a bunch of numbers, roughly tell you what they one and you have to know what methods of you have to use to get the answer. Something like that...I've still got a long way to go!

So yeah, whole week was a bit of a downer for me. I had fever on Monday and it was that special time of the month for me. I think all hell breaks loose when a woman gets her period. womenly woes. lol! Did a workout session with my bro and the next day I wish I could just lie in bed and not do anything! By Wednesday, I have phlegm and my cough developed. ='( by Friday I was loosing my voice.

It was definitely a tiring week! To top it off, I reached home after mid-night on Friday. I think it's going to be definitely one heck of an experience working in this company. I can't decide how I feel about it really, a little early to decide.

I think my favourite thing for this week was yesterday, Saturday. Met up with the ex-housemates to have breakfast ;) A little sad because I couldn't meet all of them but nonetheless still had a great time. Big thanks for their treat! haha after that, in the afternoon we caught a movie. We watched Priest. Not too bad =)

I can't wait for more weekends to come! This week decided to stay in, to recuperate and hopefully get better from my cough. So today its just perfect for Bruno Mars- The Lazy Song. Really hoping by tomorrow I won't be coughing my lungs out so much. =(

toodles!

2011-05-07T02:07:00.000+01:00

Morning!

Post below was wayyyy overdue. Suppose to share it a week ago.

Anyway, been so busy, I didn't even have time to write in my own personal diary! haha why...? because I've finally started working.

and so far....:

waking up super early in the morning hasn't killed me. made me felt good actually!
Traffic jams are a PAIN in the ass. so unpredictable -_- but so glad that the radio helps ease the situation. funny morning crew radio jockeys. ( yesterdays topic was: ARE U A MOMMA's BOY??)
there is no internet connection for us in the office. can you hear thunder? Doing work in the office for the entire day...and I'm surprised I survived this week. haha! wait till the end of the month and see if I will still say the same thing. =_=
I look forward to my weekend!

;) more to share soon...

have a good weekend

Christina Milian - Believer (HD)

2011-05-07T01:10:00.000+01:00

Pieces of the week

2011-04-21T18:48:00.000+01:00

Having a pretty intense week emotion-wise...

as long there is progress right? No matter how big or small it is... progress is still progress. It's tough =/, sometimes its just too intense. So...I must not loose hope! I still can fight this, have not given up yet. I just found out recently what was it that I was going through. I'm not shocked, but I can say that knowing what it does terrifies me and I want to fight this!

Right now I don't feel like sleeping. Maybe until this week is over then I will try to train back normal sleeping hours.

Anyway, I'm gonna blog(duh!) haha. I found an image from Colour Collective and it's a great blog. I saw this image and the colour scheme is so beautiful. So far, I haven't gotten bored of it yet. =)

I think I wanna start an "inspiration" book. Like collecting pictures I like and sticking them into the book but I'm quite lazy to actually transfer the printer and print it out. =X Gotta figure out how...or plain simple, just be more hardworking. hehe

I went to IOI mall yesterday, went to DAISO and fell in love with the shop all over again. I especially love their notebooks. Bought a grid note book...*guilty pleasure* but I always never have the heart to use them unless I know I can restock them easily. =P

looks something like this but the squares are a lot finerrr

I came across this book while I was browsing around Popular. It's a compilation of short stories of how the animals came to be what they are. I mean, don't expect to read about dolphins, lol the title is Orang Asli Animal Tales.

It's more like a folklore, compilation of short stories about some animal habits and how they came to that habits. It's more of a light,easy reading kind of book. Suitable for anyone including or especially children. It teaches moral values, simple and enjoyable book. I like the fact that it's a local book, plays a role in Malaysia's cultural heritage. It cost around RM20.00

book cover

illustrations inside

got these cute chocs from my foundation lecturer. haha cute! I finally got back all my foundation work. ;) nothing like chocolate to cheer you up. I miss Cadbury Blackforest.

something that cheered me up immensely a few nights ago. Finally won some awards at Lomography!!! haha no they don't give any prizes but it's still AWESOME. ^^ I've been trying to get one and boom! came 12. But there's one I'm dying to get but it hasn't happened yet.

Last but not least,

meet Cookie ;) named like that because when I first got it, it was soo darn round.

okie. thats all I got for now...

take careee!

adventure awaits!

2011-04-15T11:27:00.000+01:00

2011-04-13T17:36:00.003+01:00

At one point, I liked tie dye, I even have a matching shirt and skirt....way back in the primary school years! lol my sense of fashion/style was so out. Not saying that it's good now but definitely much better. ;)

Anyway, since then I always think tie dye is extremely cheesy on clothes no matter what the situation is...unless you're doing a Hippies Theme party. But I saw this in a blog and I'm thinking that it's soooo pretty!

especially this one! makes me feel like looking for something similar... This is tie dye that feels so right. Perhaps its the pattern of the dye and the colours that makes it seem so wearable without embarrassing oneself.

2011-04-11T18:54:00.000+01:00

mood swings!

lol, I'm cheered up....but no ones awake to be smiling with me now..what a waste...ish!

nites!

you've got every right for a beautiful life

2011-04-11T15:13:00.000+01:00

don't be too hard on yourself...

saying is easy, actually feeling it and doing it is a lot harder. it's not easy to believe again. i think i understand how trust is hard to gain back if it was lost. but one must try no matter how...if you trusted yourself before and experienced it before, then you must try to get that trust back. it can happen but you must allow it to happen.

i need you to believe again. if you don't believe then what is the point of creating a life for yourself. no denying how hard it is...but think, try to feel how worth it, it will be.

if something makes you down, feel worried or doubt, please think twice, thrice or even quadruple times if you have to; think about where is this feeling coming from, is it concrete? or just a figment of self doubt... in between those amount of times you're thinking through, find any ounce of possibility or positivity from it. like it is a good thing instead of a bad thing and reflecting all that negativity towards you.

like that phone call...it is actually something good. people are not judging you, please don't think that you are not good enough...you've had that feeling long enough. it's time to have a different outlook on yourself.

i know you tend to feel judgement because of what went wrong in the past... it's difficult to break down that habit. it really is...hard cold fact is..sometimes or maybe most of the time people don't give a damn about you... some people are just interested in the drama and you got caught in the wrong drama.

you have much to offer and your life isn't over yet. just look around you....be proud of who you are, just cause you can. there is no need to justify that you deserve to feel good about yourself. or that you need justification to feel happy.

i'm so sorry to have to write this out in public, but maybe it is necessary...one day you can look back and who knows what is your reaction or what your feelings will be. maybe by that time you would have overcome this, perhaps you found a solution, if so then great. i really do hope so for your sake. you can look back and smile at your triumphant in over coming one big hurdle in life. it may be a major hurdle in this lifetime of yours or it might be a minor one as comparison to what you may have to overcome in the future...i wouldn't know. I'm no predictor, only the future you will know.

for now, fret not on what nasty situations you'll get yourself in...just please please please find yourself. even a glimpse of it is better than none. just let go of that heavy burden you put on yourself, free from self doubt and indulge in feeling happy. i know you want to so badly...just have to let go some things, forgive truly forgive and accept.

saw this video from justin's blog. felt so right to listen to it now..

Oliver Morris

2011-04-10T05:01:00.000+01:00

Decided to share about Oliver Morris after reading an article in Lomography and I really like the way he combines people and nature with his multiple exposures. Quite haunting but it's very attractive. To me it is not overly complicated and it's mysterious enough.

Read the article HERE! it's not very long so no worries.. =)

Managed to find his flickr stream.. ;) Oliver Morris <<< click it to see his pictures

hope you will enjoy it =)

starting to smile again

2011-04-08T13:07:00.000+01:00

Hi =)

Dropped by college again and collected my film as well! Here's some of it to share:

On the day that I went to see Hot Air Balloons at Putrajaya...what a dismay! I only saw a few balloon designs =/ and manage to catch Darth Vader for a few minutes. Maybe shouldn't have went on the first day so we checked out Taman Warisan and Taman Pertanian instead.

Big bummer at Taman Warisan, so disappointed with their management! I think they have like 20++ bicycles and not of them worked! We wanted to rent but they told us "semua rosak" !@#%!! The park was hugee so we changed course and went to Taman Pertanian instead...

These are some shots from there, was trying out this new film I bought. Rollei Digibase and it says it's from Belgium... The colours does not run like the other slide films, it's a little more saturated than normal films but still very natural. I think some of the pics that I got, if I could expose it more it would be brighter and clearer. I think it looks quite nice with contrasting colours like blues,reds and yellows.

Not much pictures to take at that time. Felt like everyone wasn't really liking the moment and rather annoyed by the weather and I was rather annoyed by the complaints.. *shrugs*

pet tortoises..meet cookie and munchie..lol!

These were taken at a park near my place. One day, I just decided to walk to the park...and it's a long distance! But it's good exercise and a good long walk.

It's nice seeing families and couples enjoying their time together.. exercising, having picnic, over feeding the poor tortoises in the pond, flying kites =) but what I didn't like was the rubbish they left behind...=/

on that very day, my parents and I went to try this new restaurant and they were serving Russian, Middle Asia and Western food. So we ordered some of the Russian food to try and one Kebab. I would say it was "interesting" not very appealing but interesting indeed. Basically not easy to get used to. Drinking soup that taste light diluted sour yoghurt with sausages and vegetables in them is bizarre!

And it was so expensive =/ totally got conned by them because they served bread and charged us without notifying us. Charged us for the yoghurt in the soup even thought it was part of the ingredient...Good thing is, I've tried Russian food and my feet is still in Malaysia. lol!

That's about all! ;) Next I'm going back to Holga for a bit and gonna brave up myself to try black and white with the LC-A+.

much love =)

2011-04-08T12:28:00.000+01:00

mmm...so dreamy

loves!

2am Update ;)

2011-04-05T19:32:00.000+01:00

I forgot what time I slept. I think it is around 11 plus and I woke up at 2 am. Now I'm wide awake. These seem to happen quite frequent but I usually go back to sleep. Mentioned about having weird dreams, I just had one, sometimes after I read the dreams seem to feel related to it although its a different topic altogether.

This time I dreamt about weird people, who felt like aliens to me. As in, really literally aliens but they don't look like aliens. They look pretty human to me, and NO I did not read about any alien stories. I was flipping through a magazine before I slept.

All these dreams are giving me funny feelings all over. It could be the heat in the current weather...

I just finished reading The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd. It's an overall pleasing book to read. Not too intense and not too boring. I think it could be a good literature book for students. After reading the book, I watched the movie and I realised although they were successful in bringing the overall emotion and message from the book but having read the book, it lacked intensity. I guess all books to movie are like that unless you're talking about Lord Of The Rings. So yeah, reminded me how much detail we missed when we watch but do not read.

Going out tomorrow/later today to collect something. I'm wondering where should I go after that =) I've been home most of the time, time for me to go out. I feel like taking some pictures since I've uploaded a new film into the Holga. I want to have some coffee break time too..=) lol

I'm having this craving to buy books. @_@ or maybe I should catch a movie?

More importantly now, I have to prioritise! There are things now that I must get started on before I regret anything. =) can't help but feel a wee bit nervous...for what I'm not sure. I'm getting ahead of myself thats what..

Taking small steps is better than no steps ;)

xoxo,
sweet dreams!

2011-04-04T17:49:00.000+01:00

hello!

weee....been catching up on my reading which is good =) but I tend to fall asleep while I'm reading. What a disgrace...? lol Was bugging Justin awhile on what to do...he told me to just enjoy the holiday of doing nothing. I'm already doing that but I'm starting to feel like I'm turning into goo. Feel my cells degenerating somehow...

Yes well, starting to have things to do...and after that have to find things to do...hrm not to ecstatic about it but have to keep an open mind. lol

Good news of the day...my results came! =) I'm satisfied with it so yeah. I'm glad. I'm going to give myself a pat on the back ^^ and it was fun to see my mum prank my dad. haha

I'm going to start using back my Holga 135BC again. It's a waste to not use it..time to give LC-A+ a short break. I had a dilemma on which film to use...owh well lets hope I'll go somewhere interesting to capture some scenes. I'm too homey...always staying at home. lol!

I'm craving for sushi now....I want to go Sushi Zanmai..I'm also craving for some pub-like atmosphere...In due time!

Gd nighttttt

Feeling so reflective....

2011-04-01T18:09:00.002+01:00

Hello =)

gosh..I'm feeling the exhaustion, not physically but mentally. A lot of thoughts coming in and made quite a mess in my head. I laughed and cried at the same time but I had to control my tears, just so I won't start crying. It's funny but can't help feel a little dislike to it because topics that I'm sensitive about. So I just try to keep the crying to a minimum and maximize laughter.

This is general but I just can't help but feel overly annoyed by some people, from what I see on Facebook and stuff. I don't know, it's just so damn disagreeable to me. I've always wanted to express my annoyance but kept pulling back and thinking twice because what is the point of it? It's not worth fueling that emotion, and certainly not worth the effort you have to go through to just say how much you dislike it.

I think this time alone isn't such a bad thing. Yes, I do miss having people around but I rather have it like this than to be with people I'm not comfortable with. What I like is that I can be vocal about it and say so what? The thing I regret was not being more vocal and to defend myself and just won't tolerate any of the crap that was thrown to me. I realised how important it was for me to do that.

I've been bullied before and throughout a great part of my college life I was socially harassed before (yes, the term for it is Social Harassment ). Those who did it might not admit it, probably think what they did was just for fun and most definitely think that they did not do any wrong. I won't say I was all right either but I can't help but feel that I have not done anything wrong to deserve such "treatment".

Well this didn't just happened to me, but it happened to others too. I guess mine was pretty bad. I probably could laugh it off now but things will never be the same. It made me see so many things, definitely opened my eyes. Caused me to be at my lowest point so far but what is life without being knocked down. The important thing is you are able to get back on your two feet. Though slow, shaky, but at least you have to get back up. Sometimes it is okay if you make a decision to not be friends with people who you think are not worth the friendship. Take a stand for yourself. Many things I should have done to save myself but I made the wrong decisions, wrong judgement and I didn't take a stand for myself.

I couldn't help wonder that we're all humans, and how sad it is to actually witness the need of people to make other people feel pain or discomfort to feel satisfied or happy about themselves. What makes other peoples worth any lesser than yours? There is always a prejudice towards one another, there is always a dislike when it's against the things we want but who are we to harm/hurt others? Who gave us such powers?

Anyway, it is just an opinion of mine to express. Feeling very reflective at the moment...lol

like how my dad taught me...even to those you made your life difficult, always wish them best. so...just a shout out for those who made my life difficult at one point, All the Best~

2011-04-01T05:56:00.000+01:00

I dreamt that I was in the process of getting my results but to my horror my results weren't posted to my house but it was passed to me by a classmate and it was in an unsealed letter.

lol

Met up with a few people yesterday and it was awesome. Maybe cuz I haven't been out for awhile. Maybe there is too much to catch up on. Maybe it was the familiarity. But whatever it was, I had fun =D thanksssss haha

2011-03-27T15:59:00.000+01:00

unexpected turn out =)

I felt like I learnt a thing or two in the past few days and it helped me. Thanks for all the advice and wake up calls. Sorry for acting out the way I did. I didn't think it through properly, all I did was selfishly thought of myself but with all the negativity instead of positive enthusiasm.

words from a friend," it's time for me to look beyond it"

yes, it's time to look beyond it because you know you won't be a part of it. you'r meant for other things. so it's time to take charge, and learn to live it for yourself. go at your own pace.

=)

2011-03-27T15:48:00.000+01:00

I'm speechless.. I just watched The King's Speech yesterday and I loved that movie! I know I watched it late...but seriously almost nobody wants to watch it in the cinema. Black Swan too =/ I just watched Black Swan just awhile ago with mum. OMG...I don't know how to describe the movie...Dark? Deep? Psychotic? In the end she embodied the role of Swan Lake and just as the character she dies at the end...

Bloody hell, it was so intense I don't know if it's a good thing or not. I much prefer The King's Speech.

Just after watching Black Swan, I was in my room browsing through Facebook and then my house blacked out for a few minutes. Talk about perfect timing, just after such an intense movie and the lights went out? -_- not cool.

Pre CNY pics...OVERDUE!

2011-03-26T16:38:00.000Z

Earth hour today, erm well technically yesterday. I didn't do it...did you? I'm sure most of you did...This year I missed it. But what difference does it make if you continue to just waste electricity every other day?

Here's some pics from my LC-A+! =) Enjoy

@ Times Square

On the way

=) i think my heels are awesome. XD

@ Kim Gary [Kok Leong and Leong]

people

Shongen Xuan & Poh Soon

Nichole.MeiThing& Peggy

night before CNY

Lighting up

Burn baby burn...

Overall was an okay CNY. Good shopping...damn short holiday cuz I had my finals! Half of my family went to Hong Kong..! Post CNY pics coming up soon...

Withholding

2011-03-22T17:12:00.000Z

It's been getting harder for me to express myself through talking... Feeling like there is a lot of considerations to consider. Withholding or suppressing emotions and thoughts like this is difficult. So now I'm braving up to express it on the blog.

I actually learnt a thing or two from watching How I Met Your Mother. The episode on Baggage. Now, I'm alone and trying to not watch so much TV, trying to read more and trying to push myself to move forward...I realised I've been keeping this weight on me. I can't describe it exactly what it is...but it's there. I guess it's the feeling like you can't surge forward, you feel reluctant to as though some sort of weight is there. Perhaps it's the way I feel like I'm going to burst to tears at any given moment when I feel something related to whatever baggage I'm having.

Perhaps what as happened in the past made me hold on so tight to the baggage...in a way that it prevents me from having a slightest possibility of anything of the sort to happen again. I'm not letting myself to just let go and be me. I wonder if anyone has ever felt this intense before. Nasty stuff I tell ya.

I've read that by talking it out..it's a way of letting it go. Because as you talk it out, it's like you're emptying a bowl and once it's empty you can fill it up with other things, thoughts, experience and emotions..etc. I avoid having to feel like I've done something I've shouldn't have by not talking, not sharing the emotion.

I drown out whatever serious thought or reflecting on the past by watching TV...Being totally zombified. Reluctant to go for anything. It feels like a road to self destruction. I'm torn into two...part of me wants to start anew and part of me is not willing to face it.

I guess I have to keep the tv off for awhile.

just have to find a way to get across this massive wall.

gd night =)

some update

2011-03-21T14:52:00.001Z

Hello =)

Have not been blogging for so long, that I actually don't know what to blog about and how to start. Been pretty busy right after presentation but now I'm free and slacking. XD

Bunch of issues has been worrying me lately and I don't know how to talk it out. Hopefully I can overcome this hurdle.

Anyway, lets not talk about it just yet!

Presentation Day is finally over for about like 2 weeks! It went alright, comments were alright and I'm just glad I could get it over with. =) Now we're just waiting for our results.

Right after presentation day, I kept going back to W.Maju for movies, karaoke outings etc. Feels good to be busy but lately I've been slacking.

Went to Pulau Ketam with friends and a whole big group of Graphic Design students..=) and got back some amazing photos. I'm in love with it! It feels kind of funny being the only one using film with a whole group of DSLR's and digital cams...

Here's the outcome =)
LC-A+ as camera of weapon
Fuji Velvia 100 as the poison..

More pics soon..=)

have a good night!

2011-03-15T00:19:00.002Z

I thought I would be super duper free after my final presentation. But it's actually been quite a busy week. I prefer it this way though =) makes me feel purposeful...

I've been going to Wangsa more often than before I graduate..-_- what irony.

anyway..Updates real soon...=)

2011-03-11T06:41:00.002Z

slept with a heavy heart
woke up with reluctance
wishing I could unwish it
wondering if the things i've said actually stayed in your head

please let today be better than last night

2011-03-09T09:18:00.000Z

if you have to cry...
then cry,
cry for you and whatever that truly means to you.
but not expect others to cry for and with you...

if you have to laugh...
by all means laugh..
not at others but laugh WITH others.
Share the Happiness and Joy
then the World would be less harsh to those who feels it.

Pretty Awesome

2011-03-06T05:42:00.000Z

I have this website pages open for the pass few days.. didn't want to close them because I want to keep looking at them. ;)

Plus, pc's on for like 24 hours....for a few days. =/ poor thing.

Pretty bracelet!

I wonder if we can find these kind of nuts here..that are so clean,gold and shiny. So pweettyy! Learn how to make it here >>>Honestly WTF

and this...love love loveeee....fell in loveee haha don't mind me..I'm happy

Click here...to learn....>>>http://honestlywtf.com/diy/diy-flower-halo

Hopefully..gonna try it out after Tuesday.. my hands are itching to do so many things...

have Fun Fun Fun people <3 see ya ;)

2011-03-04T10:44:00.001Z

Biased Marriage

2011-03-02T07:28:00.003Z

It feels like I'm married to ID in MIA. But not in the fairytale marriage you know. Where we're blissfully in love and everything is so warm, fuzzy and cosy.. Not even close. Well there are some moments of warmth...SOME only. It turned out to be an unbalanced marriage....of two years!

The falling in love part was great which is during foundation. hahaha good memories

So soon, I'm filing for a temporary separation or divorce until we actually fall in love again.

For these 2 years, this marriage have taught me a lot but it also has taken away a whole lot of other things. It's like all those stories you've seen and heard, two lovers got married (which is represented by me and I.D) Fell in love and got married ( Committing to I.D), have children (outcome which are my work) and the mum(i guess that would be me because I.D has no face) just gives too much of herself until she looses her way and her own in the midst of it all. You know like mums who sacrifices so much and keep on giving to others but not loving herself then it all shows in the physical outcome like the looks,health and the spiritual part like the emotion etc.

Okay, this referencing is all based on watching a lot of Oprah shows.

If I don't find myself, or give myself what I need first (in other words love myself) how am I suppose to be ready to contribute to what I do? If I'm feeling emotionally disturbed and not very happy I'm sure it could be seen with my work. Believe me..I've been through it.After all that, you feel like you're so drained out, only cuz you devoted your time and energy towards calming/contemplating/questioning/blaming etc towards that emotion. Worst of all you feel inadequate.

So based on circumstances and a whole lot of other stuff that I won't bother saying because a lot don't face it. In the end, it wasn't as amazing as it should be. I am or rather soon to be was in a failing marriage until I actually decide to do something about it.

Glad that it's going to finish...This temporary separation is VERY MUCH NEEDED! I already have a my marriage counselor on speed dial!

So for now the marriage is on the rocks, but doesn't mean it won't get better. Who knows this temporary separation might do some good. Like they say, distance makes the heart grow fonder. hehe

Taking this like a marriage because I feel so tied down to it until I give way to others things like healthy lifestyle. Not to mention the weight gained, Pimples popping, ~~being single =X~~, feel so unhealthy and unenergized. ewww! It's not a bad thing, how else would I know the things that I didn't know about unless I go through them.

So it's a good thing! (in a way) =)

6 days and counting.

2011-03-01T18:38:00.000Z

At times it could be difficult when self doubt arises from within. It is really the matter of whether you allow it or not. If, just be a little thick skinned, just be a little more daring, just do not care a little...in other words, just be a little bit more confident.

Then it really won't be a big deal whether or not you are good or bad, weak or strong, talented or mere human.

It's okay to not know for we have not learn. It's just who we are, if we find it necessary to change it..then change if not, just keep it as it is part of who we are.

I'm still learning, it's not just about studying or gaining knowledge. It's how our attitude towards it and how to collaborates with our personality to come out with that outcome. So if the outcome turns out like shit, well maybe that is because I'm going through a shitty phase but that doesn't mean it will stay shitty. It's bound to change and as we learn it will change for the better. It's something innate in all of us.

I'm just reasoning whatever self doubt that is about to come up.

nites =)

2011-03-01T12:13:00.000Z

I call this illegal blogging. haha nah just a random thought.

my mind is like bursting with different thoughts because I'm all alone at home. Not only that, I'm trying to finish up my stuff without feeling overly stressed out. Trying to remain calm and collected, it's a little bit hard when your classmates are deciding when and where to get the printing done. haha

I'm behind my own schedule =(! I'm really really really hope I can make it in time. The most frustrating part? I'm not even like rushing or feeling panicky which worries me. There is tons left to do. Boo!

well..okay I better not ramble off too much. Just gotta hang in there! 1 week left babe!

2011-02-28T09:14:00.001Z

"If you're afraid to let someone else see your weakness, take heart: Nobody's perfect. Besides, your attempts to hide your flaws don't work as well as you think they do." Julie Morgenstern

When it's pouring, just watch a movie

2011-02-24T18:38:00.000Z

Morning!

Just woke up from a very nice comforting sleep. Love it when you had a long day, waking up from that sleep is the best feeling ;) Yes, I realised it's only 2 am right now.

Overall it was a good day but in terms of progress wise...neh... not so good. I have got to accept that. Went to college because it was compulsory, went for lunch with my classmates which ended up as something funny and uncalled for. When someone ask for 2 drinks and 6 straws cuz 1 seems over board (free refills), I felt like wearing my sunglasses because I didn't want to be recognised but only to be reminded(by friends) that I was wearing MIA ID Department T shirt. XD

Went to try Tutti Fruiti, not too bad, too bad the other 4 flavours were out. Went back to the mall and BOOM! it started raining heavily. So we catch a movie instead...I am Number 4.

Not too bad! Action, romance, a lil comedy~ I went ga ga over the part where one of the characters had a whole table collection of analogue cameras...<3! haha viva la analogue!!!

Random thoughts..(well maybe not so random)

I forgot how important it was to socialise. It feels like I've been into seclusion and the stress of other things pushes me farther back. Shutting doors, closing blinds is definitely not helping.
wtf...why the fuck people think I'm so stressed out that I look like I'm gonna burst out in tears? btw, I'n not freaking suicidal okay. So get off my case. ergh... I'm not even gonna make a deal out of it -_- I'm gonna get out of there and things are going to get way much better.
Thanks for a good day. All the funny quirks and random spontaneity is just what I need.
So close that I can feel it and yet I can't believe it. So far to go in terms of things to do, but gotta try to achieve it. It's so close, and this time it means so much that it has another level to it. It means so much that when I hear a song with some words related, my heart/mind responds to it so deeply. Bloody hell, I wish it was more related to design and expression of design which I lacked of rather than being emotionally tied to it. But it's only a stepping stone to many more things to come. So screw it if it doesn't come out as something to be "discussed" about. one day it will be ^^

with love =) have a good day ahead

Taman Botani

2011-02-23T13:42:00.000Z

2011-02-23T09:56:00.000Z

Need to somehow bring myself out of it again. I can feel this whole thing bringing me down like a downward spiral.

I'm just so tired, I think the stress is really getting to me and all this fighting is really wearing me down internally. It's like constantly going against the current. The whole process is too long and I need to break away. But it's not over yet. Right after Monday, I am demotivated once more. For 2 days, no matter how much I sleep I would still feel tired.

I need to know whats wrong...why am I feeling like this? =( why can't I just get on and over with it...

I hope I can pull through just fine with whatever the hell is going on...

all the best.

2011-02-20T12:12:00.000Z

=/

stress..causes things to be put on halt..

I'm feeling the stress now. Deadlines are good. Some pressure is good. But stress doesn't bring any benefit at all.

Tomorrow must come..Next week will come..I will get this done. All the best =)

A small man who dreamt big

2011-02-18T07:17:00.000Z

This is just a quickie ;)

I read an article from Star Two this weekend. About our local legendary artiste Datuk Sudirman Arshad. The man who wrote Tanggal 31. I felt compelled to share this article because it makes me feel like Malaysia used to be brimming with amazing people and talent. I don't know what was it like back in those days but I get the feeling it was even more 1 Malaysia then as compared to now.

If you read Star Two you can spot and image of a concert he did in the 80's at Jalan Chow Kit. 100 000 people came for that concert! People from all walks of life.

Showbiz extraordinaire Datuk Sudirman Haji Arshad’s songs delighted Malaysians of all creeds and colours.

TODAY, few artistes would dare attempt something as audacious as organise a giant concert in one of the major arteries of Kuala Lumpur’s busy thoroughfare. In fact, back in the 1980s, fewer would’ve fathomed staging an event of such magnitude in Chow Kit Road.

But Datuk Sudirman Haji Arshad did, and successfully pulled off an iconic show on April 15, 1986. One of Malaysia’s greatest ever entertainers, the star was never restrained by convention. For a small man, he dared to dream big, and only the sky and his maker’s wishes were his limits.

The story of the nation’s most well-loved lawyer, television host, writer, cartoonist, actor and entrepreneur earns a long-overdue telling in the documentary Sudirman Arshad, a production by the TV channel History, in collaboration with the National Film Development Corporation (Finas).

The hour-long programme brings together some of the diminutive dynamite’s glorious moments – his early days as a Bintang RTM winner in 1976, his first movie Kami in 1982, the landmark Chow Kit concert which saw 100,000 Malaysians of all races and walks of life celebrating the sense of nationalism in his songs and, of course, the magical night in March 1989 when he won the coveted Salem Asian Music Awards at the Royal Albert Hall in London while up against heavyweights of the time like the Las Vegas-based Anita Sarawak of Singapore, Hong Kong’s Leslie Cheung, Taiwan’s Chyi Chin and China’s Cui Jian.

Sudirman Arshad isn’t merely about rolling out the credits for the Temerloh, Pahang-born entertainer. It tells the story of a man who was touched by a higher force, and shared his gift of music and love with every Malaysian, regardless of race, religion or creed, all crystallised through a rare humility in the entertainment industry.

go read the remaining article HERE and HERE ! ;)

All things random

2011-02-17T08:45:00.001Z

Fell in love with this! Love the raw surface
with it's industrial lighting and lightweight
handrails + staircase yet it so warm and comforting
with the wood colour and the eames chair ;)

I want to make this hearts hair band!!! so sweet

Her skin and hair colour...<3! check out those lips
as well.

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A Day At Taman Botani

Taken with Emily's old Canon Eos 1 SLR. Colour adjusted with photoshop =P

Taman Botani at Putrajaya is a nice place to go to. Planning to go there again hopefully can experiment something that I've been wanting to try for quite some time. There are other place to explore too apart from the Taman Botani. It's HUGE!

At the canopy walk ;)

bicycle riding

powderful ladies ;)

wokays..Just received a call from my classmates ;) haha There are things I have to do!!! I'm kinda glad for it but at the same time it's added stress because now there is an expectation. SO HOW NAO?! haha Just go through with it. At least now it is CONFIRMED that it will make me work harder..Just have to push aside those little sabotaging minion thoughts...

I don't know why I have the urge to blog blog blog and bloggggg... Some sort of escape... haha the moment I'm done with all this, I'm not going to stare at the monitor screen for long hours. I want to see GREENERY!

Real natural green. I don't mind getting a slight tan as well. hehe!

2011-02-16T11:45:00.000Z

Used this picture to add a hint of mysterious. I like!

Happy Birthday Sau Li. Hoped you enjoyed your lunch date with us. XD see you soon =)

Family Reunion

2011-02-16T11:40:00.002Z

I had class on last Saturday, February 12 and I didn't feel like going at all. But still, dragged my butt all the way to college anyway.

Jammed from the moment I started using the MRR2. Was wondering if I could reach college on time or would I be terribly late. =/ Everybody reaches late to that class... Business Practice..

Amount of cars. I'm so glad I don't drive a manual car..

Already wishing I didn't go...but took this pic to show my awesome fake Rayban. XD haha!

In the end, I reached just a few minutes late. Which wasn't so bad. After class, almost the whole class had lunch and went to Leong's house. I didn't take any pictures. XD 2 photographers were there. Shongen with his DSLR and Kai Yuan with her digital. I just put mine aside. I just snap a few shots using my LC-A+. Collecting the rolls of film to be developed to save some cost.

I didn't stay long at Leong's house, I had to rush back home to get ready for a family reunion dinner from dads side. Once a year kind of thing. =) I usually don't exactly look forward to it for some reason. Massively big group of people makes me feel awkward. But I went anyway it was good this year! =)

if we were to gather everyone...I don't think the our faces will still be visible in the shot.
This is less than half I presume. =P

This is my favourite shot. My cousins and I(as shown in pic) used to play
together during dinner reunions. Just like these 3 little girls. haha! How we've grown.

Dad with some of his brothers and sisters =)

Cutie pies!!!

So it ended well, was so exhausted from that day, I just post up the pictures and left it till today to post it up.

The end is near! gotta fight!!! I can feel my freedom...and I can't wait! Back to work~ I am not expecting much anymore. As long as I can pass and graduate with smiles on my face and a contented heart.

2011-02-15T02:35:00.000Z

Had a awful day yesterday...like the world came crashing down. Mind you, it's not because of Valentine's Day.

But after all those tears and some chatting and quite a few movies. But glad things are starting to lighten up =)

pretty. fresh.delicate

This picture reminds me of macaroons! pretty

I love the reflection below the surface of the water

2011-02-11T09:18:00.000Z

Looking back, I've always been lucky. No matter what the circumstances, opportunities or situations, lady luck was on my side. I actually felt like in the end it is going to be okay. Maybe its that feeling that brings the luck. I also feel that I've always had some help in one way or another. A lot of people do, and maybe some don't.

Now, I could ask for it but I chose not to. It's a choice and a decision. Help was offered but it didn't feel right, I am not so sure. Against whatever integrity I was feeling I suppose and besides, I've been through a situation like that and it didn't turn out well. Decision was based on that with a mixture of phobia.

So now, this year, this term is a little bit more different than usual on a few levels which won't be elaborated for the time being. Now I feel like it's between giving an amazing outcome and to overcome one's struggle and to feel that sort of independence. If you asked me which do I want, I would say I want both. But fortunately and unfortunately I am to face the fact that at this point neither I am talented enough nor capable enough to provide that kind of outcome that I would be satisfied with. So I have to choose....and I've chose.

..................................................................................................................

in the end it will be okay. If it is not okay then it is not the end

if you can meet with triumph and disaster and treat those two impostors just the same.

bummed out about yesterday's critic but life has to go on. I'm so glad to have the chance to laugh again. It's been so damn long. =)

don't really wish to go through it right now, it makes me think too much and worry even more.

but I have to perservereeeee!

2011-02-08T12:32:00.000Z

This is the second time I got sick during a critical period. The first time was dengue during finals in Semester 3. Thankfully this time is not that bad and not as near to the finals as last time.

Came back from fetching my parents and bro so we decided to go for McDonalds. I made a horrible wrong choice by ordering the Prosperity Burger. Even thinking about it makes me gag! Black pepper overdose..I think my tummy couldn't handle it. Yikes.

Vomited last night and this morning. Eww, I forgot what vomiting does to your body. I had no energy for the entire day until now. Which I'm still a little woozy.. and I'm having final critic on Thurs. "Fascinating." I

oh well...All the best! and NO MORE PROSPERITY BURGER....EVER!

I don't get why are they even selling it.

I hope I have enough strength tonight and tomorrow for me to survive this Thursday...!

2011-02-07T02:17:00.001Z

Boo!

Skipping/skipped class
I want to feel the excitement and the cheerfulness again. Rather than feeling down down down...=/

Final critic is coming really really really soon like damn soon and I can't say I'm prepared for it, but gotta try *fingers crossed* that it all goes well.

Can't believe how fast time flies and we always never realise how fast time flies. Gotta stop counting the days and start making the days count!!!

This whole 3D thing and presentation visual has got me worried which is a big NO NO! Burn those feelings, push them away, send them to exile!!! The day is approaching(critic and final presentation...like the FINAL presentation) as much as it is somewhat worrying, it's also liberating at the same time... My college life is about to come to an end! wow...2 1/2 years just went by like that. O_O

Wish me luck, wish that I am enjoying it, wish that my worries are at its minimum or rather none! wish that I am loving it because it is the process that counts ;)

Bye!

2011-01-31T17:07:00.001Z

Hello!

it's been raining the last few days and it feels so so cold! The kinda cold that makes you want to drink hot soup and be all cuddly under the sheets!

Almost Chinese New Year! Got the mood yet? do ya? not much of the mood around here, but I appreciate the cold weather rather than the usual scorching hot that makes you want to use the air-cond 24/7 and as you do that you can witness the destroying of Earth.

Saw this today, and I like it very much. Sometimes we don't realise how things happen around affect us emotionally. Easier said than done, but better be aware than never realising it at all!

These days I have trouble sleeping. =( Last night well..I slept this morning actually. Around 6'ish -_- I think it's because of the drink I made. Coffee+ Milo powder with some Nestum.. Yums! haha Perfect warm drink for a cold cold night.

So, I thought I would be prepared to go for college today. But I wasn't prepared enough. I just hope I have enough direction to do go on with it. *fingers crossed!* Critic 3(b) just got changed to the 10th of February. Wish me luck and hope things go on great! I really hope so! * i can hear the bells of freedom ringing*

need to get back that inner motivation. It's in there somewhere...So today is just movie watching, book reading, picture printing, Face-booking, Blog writing, MSN chatting and all the other doings except assignment. =P

Well, that's all for now. Gonna enjoy the rest of my insomniac night.

buh bye!

P.S
Happy Chinese New Year <3 in advance ;)

may you all have a very prosperous new year. xoxo

I wish my nails can pull this off

2011-01-31T03:59:00.000Z

Matt and gloss black. It's just A.W.E.S.O.M.E

2011-01-30T14:55:00.001Z

I suddenly thought of an additional resolution~

To read all the books I've bought over the years which I have not touch, or finish reading. No matter how painful it is to read them..I love books, just not the overly bimbotic ones. XD

2011-01-30T04:56:00.000Z

Feel like it is an important lesson to learn to not beat yourself up every time we loose out on something or when things could have been better. I'm learning that too ;) Brush of the dust and learn to stand up again!

wokays, this is what i need to do now. =P only thing that i can have is nescafe instead of starbucks. hehe

2011-01-30T03:36:00.001Z

Morning!

It's a lovely morning. Waking up feeling the nice cool air just makes you want to cuddle more under the sheets.

Last few days or rather the past week is quite down and filled with negativity.

But this morning, I am truly inspired by reading a blog of my senior. Though not knowing her well, but just reading what she has to share just brought smiles and lifts my spirits up.

So why feel down when you can be happy?

I still have lots to learn, one thing I'm going to focus on is to be happier. If I have to go through up and downs just to find myself, be comfortable in my own skin, be unafraid to let loose then so be it. I'm willing to go through it just to be happy and grateful.

2011-01-25T04:09:00.000Z

Dear Blog,
*thinking of a way to write this and to start this post*

I'm in need to vent. Pour out my soul only to drink it back again.

Things are not up in the air lately or maybe it is because of my own doings. Been trying to find ways to solve whatever stuff that has been going on which has been going on for a long time. I'm so glad to say that it's been going on well. But it never stays the same you know, and it is disappointing to feel what work once couldn't work again.

Well, only if you believe it won't work right?

I am not going to post up negativity or self pity, it's for a change, might as well post up something that leaves a direction that leads me somewhere better.

When things are going smoothly, it's hard to just indulge in it in fear of loosing that bliss. I'm wondering whether am I going to have enough strength to withstand it all again if it ever happens. The insecurity sucks. But to be so cautious and never really enjoy it, it is sad. Not for others but for me. Some might say that a decision like this is so simple. I feel like yes, that is true...without even thinking you could decide what is best for you at that moment in time. I need practice, it's been so damn long since I know what decision to make that I've forgotten what it feels like to just make one and be fine with it. It's like falling of a bike and hurting yourself real badly that you are not sure if riding that bike again would be safe.

I'm feeling disappointed, so how do I deal with it? I'm feeling worried...but it can be solve so stop worrying. I'm feeling scared/nervous... I think it's normal to feel that way because it's something that I take seriously. I don't feel it is fair... well, that is something I have to accept at some point at some level. Just keep reminding yourself of your views and opinions.

So whats left for me to do, is trust, love, enjoy and keep on going with it, with me, with life... how else could I deal with it? One will never learn until they hit a few bumps...and if a that few bumps need to be repeatedly hit means they have never learn..not yet.

=) trust it. It will be okay and even better it will be great!

with love.

Customized notebook...;)

2011-01-23T12:42:00.000Z

Remember in school, we'd always buy lots of exercise books, those single line notebooks and Buku Gapen. Those unused ones or only used a few pages.. Well don't throw them away! You can reuse them as diaries, or special occasion notebooks like book of Quotes or your Book of Ideas.. You can use it just for about anything or EVERYTHING. ;) It could even be an handmade gift for a friend.

I did this a couple of weeks ago, I was bored with school work so I found this old exercise book with some words scribbled inside and I decided to turn it into a diary! Just a clean, simple, nature inspired colour diary. Some old school feel ;) It was a real quickie. Within 20-30 mins and voila!

The best part is, you can customize it however you want it.

I know the cover of the book is ~~ugly~~ boring and ~~super~~ rather embarrassing but there is a way where you can jazz it up and it will look cool. Vintage even! like old school classic but awesome at the same time.

So here is what you need. Just very simple basic materials. ;)

1
Just take your thick thread (you could use a thin one, it works fine. Just a little bit more tedious) and give it about the length of 80cm or so. Depending on how long you need it because you have to make a book mark from the thread.

Make 3 sets of thread. Each sets has 3 threads just as shown above. Tie a knot just like the below picture so that you have the thread in place. Reason why you have 3 threads in one set, is so you would have a thicker texture and you can see the pattern clearly.

Braid them and after a certain length, say about 10cm, tie a knot to end it and start braiding again. Repeat this process until you've reach the end. This is to secure your braid and also to give it a little pattern.

knot

braid texture. clear pattern

If you think just the braid and knot is boring you can add beads of your choice. Just slip it in, into on of the sets of thread or just the whole thing, tie a knot to secure it if you have to.

end product

It will look something like this. This is just a basic thing, you can alter the process as you see fit. Different colour threads would be something fun and funky. So it's up to you how far you want to go ;)

2

Secondly, it's time to measure the ~~ugly~~ part that has your school name, pattern, logo etc

Just measure enough to cover everything printed. Like mine, I have a border so I just measured the breadth and width to cover the borders.

choose your weapon of choice. You can cut it or you can slice it. haha. After having your measurements, make markings on your brown paper and cut it to size. Make 2 sets because you have to cover the front and the back as well.

I don't know why the image won't upload the right orientation -_-. Anyway, after you cut the brown paper, apply glue to the designated area. (area to be glued with the brown paper)

You can use spray mount to get a smoother and cleaner finish. Just remember to apply it on the brown paper and not the book unless you are covering the whole cover.

But since this is a quickie and a small project, a normal glue would do. =)

After applying the glue, just stick it on! =)

We're almost done! With what ever left over paper, you can create pattern and stick on it. Mine, I just created a band across the book to make it look bounded. It isn't obvious because I'm using back whatever leftover brown paper. But there is different layer so some texture is there.

3
Last part! Making the book mark. Simplest of all.

Since you have your thread done, all you have to do is string the key chain in and adjust the location. I chose mine roughly around the middle because of the way I want my book mark to hang when I close the book.

end product

There you go, a new customize bookmark!

4
Take small piece of folded paper, write the name of the owner of this book ( whether its you or your friend) and inside write a short message. =)

It's sort of like a welcoming message every time you open it.

The first few pages or last page could be filled with some meaningful and inspiring quotes. I put it in the last page.

So yeah, that is about it. Very few simple steps. Yes it looks simple, may be a tad boring but you can always add to it to spice it up. Just something I felt like sharing ;)

xoxo!

Pictureless words...

2011-01-19T14:02:00.000Z

bear with me. Pictures have to be put on hold...=/

I can't seem to transfer my pictures from the camera to the desktop =( I wonder why is that...It's making blogging a little bit harder without the pictures I need. Plus it's troublesome to open up the laptop to transfer the pics into the laptop only to put them into a thumbdrive and transfered to the desktop.

Critic was on Monday, 2 days ago. I'm glad and anxious at the same time! I'm glad that there is one more critic to go by which everything must almost be done. Which is what I'm anxious about~

Anyway, updates!

Monday, after critic, KY got sick, probably food poisoning cuz of the "clean" food from Calypso. So brought her to the clinic at Wangsa, and I think we waited for nearly 2 hours! Just for a 5-10 minute consultation. -_-" I'm not liking the clinics over there at all. So after that, Peggy came down to see KY and it was 5.30 pm and I couldn't go home because it would jam the whole way back. So we fetch KY home, Peggy and I went to Wangsa Walk to buy movie tickets. =) yes! movie at long last... haha Later on joined by Nelson and Jyh Pei.

We watched The Tourist. hmm..an okay movie...

Tuesday, which was yesterday...haha I loved yesterday. I had a great day! Had a date with some of my classmates to go for karaoke. I agreed when they asked without any hesitation because it was a well deserved outing. = ) After so long of being socially deprived, I definitely wanted to go out. Went to Times Square to go for Karaoke..I reached there at 11am but everyone else reached there an hour late. -_-

I walked around till my feet ached (was wearing heels after so long) and I found Borders! They re-located to LG-west and downsized to Borders Express. T_T I felt so sad... The place is really small now and it's located at a place where nobody goes. At a sad corner.. =(

Anyway, we met up at Neway...sound system that day was horrific. So loud! But fun nonetheless, it wasn't enough though. No one sang till they were satisfied. haha. Then, off we went shopping! I finally get to start doing a little bit of CNY shopping. Bought myself some stuff thanks to Nichole's help ;) Surprisingly Sungei Wang actually have some nice stuff there. I usually never get to buy anything there..XD I guess some things have changed.

After dinner I went back home and my feet wished it could be soaked in nice warm water.

Today, when I woke up, it naturally declared as a REST DAY. My feet ached! and I just laze the whole day and it never felt so good. Guilt free rest. Now I'm off to find something to do...other than homework...=P

bye!